"I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste
was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test"
To be honest, I think he was being a little hard on himself, but we all tend to be don't we?
"Time may change me
But I can't trace time"
This has never been truer for me than now. Time gets away from us if we let it. It's so easy... in the blink of an eye what you thought was two days ago turns out to be two weeks ago! This kind of realization really makes one think about how our days are spent. Are they spent doing what you love? It's this question that began the ch-ch-ch-ch-changes for me. Am I following my passions? Am I on my way to fulfilling my dreams? Does what I do each day at work and at home make me happy? The answer up until recently was a resounding "No."
So now I'm in a period of change in my life. Just two short days ago I left my job to pursue something entirely different. Something to fulfill my creativity and pursue my happiness. I've spent the last few months in reflection of what I truly want, knowing my passion, following it, dreaming and living for it.
Nobody ever said change was easy... if it were, it wouldn't be so important. It wasn't an easy decision for me to resign, it took courage to leave the security and comfort of a job I had spent a few years in. Jobs become second homes to us, we see our co-workers more often than we do our own friends and family. Jobs can often become how we identify ourselves. What's the first question most people ask you when you first meet? "So, what do you do for a living?" Society teaches us to define ourselves by our titles. I wish people would instead ask "So, what makes you happy in life?" What a loaded question!
Do you believe in signs? That somehow the universe knows what you need better than you do and sends you hints and clues until you piece the puzzle together? I sure do. For several months before this change, it seemed as though I kept receiving messages everywhere I went until I could no longer ignore them! I saw messages on billboards, on graffiti, on household gift items and jewellery, on Facebook and online, messages hinting at what I should be focusing on, how and where to find happiness and encouraging me to dream. One symbol in particular kept popping up - a heart. I saw heart-shaped clouds in the sky, found a tiny heart charm in my jewellery box long forgotten, I even noticed a heart in the foam of my latte! *Seriously!* Soon I began doodling hearts at work and painting them at home whenever I could put a brush to canvas.
One day while visiting one of my favourite boutiques, I spotted a pendant with a winged crowned heart (almost exactly the same as the one I had just painted - shown above). On the heart was the word 'Soar'. "How inspiring." I thought.
When I turned the pendant over, my stomach did a back flip with bubbles of excitement. It read: 'Live life as the pursuit of happiness." It was in that moment I knew I had to do just that. No more time wasted on just getting by, on getting through the day. No more living to make a living, it was time to live to make a life!
As if it was all preordained, as I was paying for the little pendant the shop owner (a lovely friend) asked if I knew of anyone who might be interested in working with her - her gorgeous shop Piorra Maison has also been through some great ch-ch-ch-ch-changes with a brand new location downtown and a move on the West Island. Before even thinking I blurted "I'd love to work with you!" And thus the wheels of change came into motion.
*If you're wondering about Piorra Maison, you can read the blog post I did about them- "Treasures Found" here:
http://theclevercottage.blogspot.ca/2012/09/treasures-found.html
Another change for me is that I recently celebrated my thirtieth birthday, the big 3-0, three decades on this planet... I expected a classic melt-down but thankfully no, my "What am I doing with my life?!" mini-crisis came upon me when I turned 25. Instead, 30 brought with it an amazing gift; the realization that 30 years was enough time spent doing what other people expected of me and that this life is mine, mine to do with as I see fit, mine to spend in the pursuit of happiness. It also brought with it an amazing confidence, the ability to say "Yep, this is me, take it or leave it but it's me and I love it!"
So often we get caught up focusing our energies on what other people dictate we should be, how we should act, what we should do, what clothes we wear, what friends we make - all to placate others. But at the end of the day, whose day was it? Did you live your day for you? Please yourself first and foremost and then pleasing others becomes effortless. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advising anyone to fly in the face of authority or ignore the needs and wants of loved ones in favour of our own selfish desires, but when all is said and done, happiness begins within you. You can't dish out happiness from an empty bowl.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get
a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time
xox
