Written Musings

For as long as I can remember, I've been in awe of a single question: "What do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?" In grade school, usually on the very first day of the new school year, the teacher would ask us to write a little essay on what we aspired to become in adulthood. Oh how I wished she could have assigned something factual and basic like "How did You Spend Your Summer Vacation?" I could have rambled on and on about summers spent frolicking in the woods near my family's cottage in the Quebec Laurentians, refreshing dips in the lake and marshmallow smores around the bon-fire. Instead, I'd puzzle over what to write, pencil tip tapping on the little wooden desk, thinking; 'Why does the teacher have to make us think so hard on the first day? What do I want to be when I grow up?' Unlike many other children, who would immediately scribble down their dreams of becoming doctors, jet pilots, astronauts and ballerinas, I never quite knew what to say in response to such a seemingly simple inquiry. The problem wasn't that I didn't want to be anything, the problem was I wanted to be everything! Loving animals meant a career as a veteranarian, a starring role in the school play foretold my destiny as a Hollywood movie star and even a class trip to the cathedrals of Montreal signalled the possibility of taking vows as a Catholic nun!
When highschool years rolled around, I thought perhaps the answer would become clearer, that somehow I would 'find myself' within the crowded hallways, amid the ringing recess bells - not so! In fact, even more possible career paths became known to me as I discovered my singing talents performing in school concerts. My daydreams during class would have me at the chalkboard as a professor, and shopping trips with friends would inspire notions of setting up my own gift boutique. Sessions with the school Guidance Counsellor proved fruitless. When pondering the years to come, all I could think was if I knew where I'd be in the future, my life would be pretty dull indeed! No surprises? No adventure? Did I even want to know where I'd end up? Yet the question loomed even stronger in my mind as graduation came and went and college days crept up. Two years of art courses, cinema courses, English literature and communications courses and I graduated with honors - yet I still did not have the honor of knowing what I truly wanted. Three more years of hard-core Interior Design courses brought some clarity - creativity gives me joy, diversity excites me and beautiful things sustain me.

Amid the ups and downs and changing ideas for my future, what I failed to notice was the deep satisfaction I garnered from putting simple pen to paper ( or finger tips to keyboard ) and allowing all my imaginings, observances and wonderings to live outside of me. Why did I not notice the consistancy of my poetic scribbles to friends and family in cards, or the importance of confessing my secrets and relaying the days' events in the pages of my journal - always a cherished ritual. Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, Lucy- Maude Montgomery, among many others, have been my silent advisors, my inspiration; pioneering women who lived and learned and loved, all the while feeding their creativity. Looking back, I realize my passion for the written word has been within me all along - the one constant answer to that awe-inspiring question.

Through my various experiences and the creative spirits of those around me I've discovered that as human beings - and particularly as women - we are forever learning, growing and changing and in doing so, we are always beautiful. Never hesitate to declare all you desire and aspire to be and remember - as I always will - that there are many answers to a question, several possibilities and every path can lead to adventure! What can we be when we grow up? Anything we want!